Bizarre Bazaar

Tee Hee

That's me on the right.
(Shyly smile...)

Mental Health Hotline

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. 

If you are Obsessive/Compulsive: Press 1 repeatedly. 

If you are Co-Dependent: Ask someone to press 2 for you. 

If you have Multiple Personalities: Press 3, 4, 5, and 6. 

If you are Paranoid: We know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we’ll trace your call. 

If you are Delusional: Press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother ship. 

If you are Schizophrenic: Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. 

If you are Depressive: It doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer you. 

If you are Dyslexic: Press 6 9, 6 9, 6 9, 6 9 

If you have a Nervous Disorder: Please fidget with the hash key until the beep. 

After the beep, please wait for the beep. 

If you have a Short-Term Memory Loss: Please try your call again later. 

If you have Low Self-Esteem: Hang up. 

All operators are too busy to talk to you...

The Not Ready 4 Comedy Club Playerz

The Laughter Safety Valve Commission Preezents:

.

Two Gents and a Kat in

A Street Performance of

GOT CHUTZPAH???

(or Three friendz making total foolz of themselvez)

.

Jay Ulin (Saxophone), Kat-Renée Kittel (Clarinet)
and The Guy Who Doesn't Play an Instrument

.

Keep Smiling...Please.

**Now a Word From Our Sponsor**

(Revision 28.01.06) If you notice this notice, you will notice that this notice is… ....in French.
-Katie Kat.




(But don’t let Mommi fool you. She got dis out uv a frase buk…)

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Le magasin de bijoux. 

Bonjour. Je m’appelle Katie. Comment allez-vous?

Trés bien, merci. Et vous?

Trés bien. Quelles sant les previsions meteo?

Du brouillard

Est-ce que je pourrais voir... un nouveau cerveau? Comme celui vous avez dans le viseur. Avez-vous quelque chose en perle de culture?

Je veux que vous allies voir un spécialiste.

Pourquoi?

A cause du temps. C’est déprimé

Ah... a cause du temps... Je suis perdu en raison du brouillard. Mon coeur est blessé. Je ne puis pas manger ou dormir. Est-ce que le médecin pourrait venir me voir, un médecin que parle anglais?

Oui.

Est-ce que je peux prendre rendez-vous pour aujourd’hui?

Oui. C’est urgent.

Merci.

De rien. Promettez-vous?

Oui. Je promets.

---

Brought to you by Dingbats Anonymous: The people who make your brain think…

Need a translation? Try here... https://www.bing.com/translator/ & learn something new. (Hey, that's what I did and a phrasebook from Barnes & Noble. Thanks Davo for grinning at this "dingbat.")

My Internet Service conspiratorially went down…

We don’t know what you did, but we’re telling Captain Kid… We don’t smoke, we don’t chew… We watch Captain Kangaroo!!! …And we’ve never been to Boston in the fall. Cuz we're the pirates who don’t do anything… (Mike Nawrocki, 1997)

Laugh Safely and Good Night (or Good Morning),
Katie Kat =^..^=

(Promesse gardée...Être continué)

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"First you must decide what you want... And then you have to fight for it." -Lantern Hill.

©2006 by Kat-Renée Kittel. All Rights Reserved. Please be kind and give credits to author and founder of the Laughter Safety Valve Commission™. Thanks.

Got Chutzpah (Agape Is A Five Letter Word... For Chutzpah) is inspired by The Chairman of The Laughter Safety Valve Commission™. See Turnabout's Fair Play and comment left by Mr. Anonymous. (Dear Richard & Harlee, Thanks for the hug.)

***Cached pages are not authorized representations of this page nor do they represent the staff writer of this website. Previous page versions have been obliterated by the LSVC, Tech Publications Dept. The editorial staff of the LSVC are not responsible for Laughter Safety violations caused by any unauthorized use of outdated information.*** --------- REVISED 27.02.06 - Submitted for Safe Laughter Rating...