I Want my Dada... yeah, me too.

Been spending my blogging time commenting at Huffington post.

.

For some odd reason, one of my comments got approved for my KidSister profile, but hasn't shown in the commentary section of I Want My Dada* yet.

So here is the scoop:

For the past month or so, Richard Belzer, my dear brother of comedy is blogging again. Finally, after one measly but brilliant post on July Fourth several years ago.

.

Can't help but wonder if my comically shy encouragement last year that he publically share his opinions -- stage fright and bonking my head and all -- had a wee bit of influence...

Anyway, I usually traipse over to Huffington Post after umpteen dozen comments have posted on one of his new essays... study out the psychological commentary pattern of the top of the bell shaped curve before leaving my personal replies....

Well one of my replies from a previous essay just ain't showing yet, while two comments I later posted on his newest essay did! I've decided to post here and forever tie my stage name to a bit of political tongue in cheek opinion. So there...

(Now leave me alone before I bonk you in the head with Kathy Griffin's Emmy. She thinks her statue is God, you know...)

The Dada Essay:*

The first World War was sold as -- and thought to be -- a noble, necessary endeavor that was to end all wars. Soon it became evident that this first-mechanized war was a heartbreakingly horrific slaughter house of epic proportions.

The senseless decimation of virtually all the young men who -- with fervor and patriotism -- eagerly enlisted to "defend" their nation so repelled a group of artists and writers that they felt compelled to question the very meaning and purpose of artistic and cultural values.

Thus the Dada Movement was born. All (so-called) modern thought was called into question. It was reasoned at that point in history we had become so barbarous that precious human life was chillingly expendable for the most ill-conceived and deceptive purposes.

Today, this is all known too well by many and ignored by just as many more.

When the government and its citizens are in a witting and unwitting dance of death with the media play the tune, I implore, I compel, and I all but beg those in the creative community to once again question and challenge and redefine the purpose of culture and its affect.

I want my Dada!

-------------------------------------
Kid Sister reply to Cid's Comment (showing)

"All evil needs to succeed is for good men to stand by and do nothing."

Yet are the true evildoers those who force their perverted views on others through acts of terrorism and unspeakably horrendous violence?

Or those who enable these perverted fiends through financial support and protection, then move them around like animated chess pieces?

Even a pawn can find the king and checkmate him... yet who is the "king" in this fowl play for globalistic unity?

These are my DaDa questions.

Wikipedia has an article about the DaDa movement, but it doesn't pinpoint the origin of the name, save that "Dada in French is a child's word for hobby-horse. In French the colloquialism, c'est mon dada, means it's my hobby."

Another intriguing statement in the article: "New York Dada lacked the disillusionment of European Dada and was instead driven by a sense of irony and humor."

I never met my Dada.

=^..^=
---------------------------

Cid's Reply to KS (showing)

Can't both be? At times, can't we all be?

A good artist knows that there is no black or white, just varying shades of grey.

It's unfortunate that we, as a nation, seem to be turning such a dark shade lately.

What makes it really shameful...is how quiet "We the People" have been through it all.
---------------------------------

Kid Sister reply to Cid (not showing)

(This comment was pending approval and had not displayed yet.)

"A good artist knows there is no black or white, just varying shades of grey."

My cats would have a debate with you on that. My oldest (18yr) looks black, but his fur is very deep, dark brown. My youngest is a black and white tuxedo. Her black hue is blue. (And my longhaired Siamese's Mommy was a Russian Blue shade of grey too...)

A good artist works with grey... a brilliant artist works with spectrums of light and colour. Ex: Thomas Kinkade.

True, no pure black or pure white exists on earth. Pure white is terminally blinding. Pure black is an entirely absolute lack of light spectrum reflecting into the retina of our eyes: a galactic black hole.

"Can't both be (evil)? At times, can't we all be?"

Yes, both (sides of the coin that I mentioned) are an evil we're all capable of... but I choose to say I will not kill nor kill myself today.

There is no such thing as pure evil. Pure evil does not exist... Evil can't create anything -- only twist creation, distort facts, misrepresent truth -- so deceptively captivating. Always a bit of truth there -- the luring cheese in the mousetrap.

Look at the evil man all gone from Iraq. Ain't it "wunderfull?" But what mousetrap are our wonderful leaders panhandling?

"...we as a nation, seem to be turning such a dark shade lately."

Lately? With due respect to fellow artists... (and clevelandchick about Derek Hess "Armageddon Has Been Canceled Because The Tickets Didn't Sell")
What about the last 40+ years?
Our nation's been gradually turning a darker shade way before 911 -- like the experiment with the frog in cold water. Slowly turn up the heat and the frog just happily gets used to the pot's changing temperature until boiling to death.

It is "shameful how quiet 'We the People' have been" for decades upon decades.

The dumbing down of the masses has prevailed at least since our dear essayist was in public school (initiated by such historical icons of education as John Dewey).

Like so few of We the People, Richard refused to be educationally lobotomized by that govern-mentally challenged school system.

Kind Regards,

A lobotomy-free artistic survivor of the American public schools,

-Kid Sister to A Comedian.

=^..^=

------------------------------

*I Want My Dada © by Richard Belzer and only reprinted here for educational purposes only....

Bizarre Bazaar

Turnabout's Fair Play -- Time To Pray

Time For Hanukkah....

Rededication to the G-d of Miracles
&

.Joseph in Potipher's House

.Keep Smiling... Please

NEXT STOP --- PURIM & Esther in the Court of the King.

Mental Health Hotline

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. 

If you are Obsessive/Compulsive: Press 1 repeatedly. 

If you are Co-Dependent: Ask someone to press 2 for you. 

If you have Multiple Personalities: Press 3, 4, 5, and 6. 

If you are Paranoid: We know what you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we’ll trace your call. 

If you are Delusional: Press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother ship. 

If you are Schizophrenic: Listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. 

If you are Depressive: It doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer you. 

If you are Dyslexic: Press 6 9, 6 9, 6 9, 6 9 

If you have a Nervous Disorder: Please fidget with the hash key until the beep. 

After the beep, please wait for the beep. 

If you have a Short-Term Memory Loss: Please try your call again later. 

If you have Low Self-Esteem: Hang up. 

All operators are too busy to talk to you...

A Dream of Roses

Or not. How Government Works... Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person at $18,000.00 a year for the job.

Then Congress said,
"How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions for $22, 000.00, and one person to do time studies for an additional $22,000.00 per year.

Then Congress said,
"How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies for $31,000.00 and one to write the reports for an additional $31,000.00 per year.

Then Congress said,
"How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper for $35, 000.00 annual salary, and a payroll officer for an additional $35,000.00, then hired two people.

Then Congress said,
"Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer at $155, 000.00 per year, Assistant Administrative Officer $125,000.00, and a Legal Secretary for an additional $100,000.00 per year.

Then Congress said,
"We have had this operating for one year with a budget cost of $574, 000.00 and we are $18,000 over budget. We must cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman.

Sirius or Serious??

(Katie "Moe-Moe" Kitty, Haard at werk, lernin nu funni materul.)

Re-Edited 27.02.06 - (Re-submitted for Laughter Safety Rating.)

. More Shocking than Stern, Oddities
and You Can’t Teach Funny.

A/N: I had promised the Chairman a post last night, but I was pretty zonked out—went to bed and had a decent nights sleep. Yet with no plastic over my pillow—woke up with my eyes nearly swollen shut. I can see better now, but if you find a few typos...

(Wait a minute.. where did the monitor go? Where am I and why does everyone keep laughing at me... Is everyone starved for humor around here?? Who are these aliens and what did you do with the normal people??? Has anyone actually noticed The Chairman's three word endorsement??? "A good relationship..." WHAT IN THE BLOOMIN' BLUE BLAZES IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???? Somebody please give me a stage or beam me back to Hayseed County before I go stir crazy... by a conspiracy plot from the outer limits of the twilight zone...)

In my last column, my Big Brother (and Chairman of the LSVC) left a three-word conspiratorially teasing comment. My brain went spinning, wondering what he meant...

Of course, as Busy Bosses tend to do from time to time, he merely stopped by to check on my work, you know--make sure I wasn't on another Catnip Tea break or dangerously walking on the window ledge again... (I like heights). How conspiratorially sweet of you, brother. I know you’re busy being The Chairman of Funny and Detective Munch's understudy (just kidding Richard.) —you didn’t have to do that. I guess there is such a thing as a hug over the Internet. (chuckles softly… I still owe you one.)

Well, there are lots of folks doing stranger things over the Internet and telephone, but I’ll leave that to Howard Stern to explore. I ain't even going to go there. Well it's just that I already have a husband. I only need one of those.

I just started a new job—part-time through the temp agency—as admin asst in the tech publications dept of the Laughter Safety Valve Comission™. I'm just filing letters between comedians and the LSVC, updating/adding revisions to safety manuals and proofreading. Still the office atmosphere is relaxed and no pressure—really nice folks who enjoy being around each other. For me—so refreshing to work with genuine people who have a sense of humor. A 180 degree turn from folks who thought something was wrong with me. (So in Hayseed County, y'all don't read the Wall Street Journal and walking tigers down the street is illegal? Oh.....okay.)

Now here’s the interesting part…speaking of Howard—one of the staff began talking about Sirius and Stern. I mentioned I’d only caught glimpses of reruns aired on TV and not the news section—the part I was interested in—looking to see if my big brother, The Chairman had stopped by.

Yet after work I have a message at home to call the temp agency. Apparently, I was being cautioned not to talk about my website…that it might be a personal/privacy issue. Like I’m way more shocking than Stern??? Helloo… asserting "innocent of ..." is way too controversial? Okay… Maybe I should mention that to Howard. I could be a guest or something.

Just a strange thought in my head... Howard may even find this story amusing. I don’t know…I’ll have to get back to him... The network guy was just worried about band width overload—one of my sites plays music. And I can totally understand that—we're talking laughter safety here. Interruption of the Ultra EHF Bandwidth connection between staff writers and the comedian during a live performance could be very dangerous... to the comedian, especially.

Hmmm, the shocking controversy of asserting innocence.
Yeah… I like that.

Speaking of oddities… this one is downright conspiratorial. Someone nabbed this book from the Public Library: “UFO’s, JFK and Elvis, Conspiracies You Don’t Have To Be Crazy To Believe.” by Richard Belzer.

The online library database gave the book as a new acquisition and in transit to the shelves. I put a hold on the book and waited and waited. I got fed up and braved the main library branch with the red/blue contrasting carpet that always does strange things to my light sensitive eyesight with stigmatism overtones. (The wonderful thing about red/blue carpet not showing dirt—you can't see the floor!!)

I ventured into the three-story public building and talked to Reference (with my hands spread out between my eyes and the psychedelic mess below). The book was originally ordered and received in 2000, but never found the shelves!! Very strange. So the reference librarian and I had a good laugh about conspiracies and how she once stood outside the window of the Today Show. Jesse L. Martin (Det. Green of Law & Order) just happened to be standing there as well. She’s reordering the book and checking through interlibrary loan.

I’ll just buy a very used copy at Amazon… might be faster...Well that leaves one last thing...

Review Belzer’s first book, “How To Be A Stand-Up Comic.”

After Providence walked me back into the Light, I had no earthly idea where I was. (See previous entry, Turnabout's Fair Play.)

My comments to people in the world of retail stores made people chuckle. I had forgotten that sound and wanted to hear it again. And again. Then I did something I’ve dubbed—"The Absent-Minded Customer Helps The Stressed-Out Cashier." The reaction from the woman in line behind me was priceless. She stifled a smile, covered her face and turned her back to me. Don't know if she was embarrassed for me or about me. Or maybe thought the whole thing was funny, but wanted to get home!!! Or thought I was just plain nuts... (Sorry, I don't have the recipe written down yet.)

That’s when I began searching for an explanation. While driving around Hayseed County I saw this square, glass walled booth—out in the middle of a wheatfield, unattached to anything. Turned out to be some kind of empty station with a console of monitors and handwritten instructions. The console had some kind of safety release valve with instructions that read, "Turn valve counter clockwise for laughter, then straight ahead for eccentric humor." On the seat of an old wooden chair lay a wornout manual written by the Chairman himself, "How to Be a Stand Up Comic.”

The station hadn’t been looked after in a long time—the manual was the original one, 1988, no updates or revisions—with pages 130 to 140 torn out. I ventured to a public library branch—dull grey carpeting—and looked for a copy in better condition. (Mabye a newer copyright.) The library had the original. Oh well, this is Hayseed County. I found a quiet table in the corner and began to read.

In spite of being 17 years out of date... There’s still a lot of good information in here. Such as “You can’t teach funny—it’s like teaching someone to be short.” Or tall as is the case of some folks. Still the preface writer is right. I have no idea how to explain what in the bloomin' world I do. I just know how to size up a situation, walk up to a person and interact with them in a way they don’t expect. The laughter safety release valve opens and that joyous sound falls on my ears.

(Takes a very rare person who can do that to me... come under my radar, grab me off the window ledge and give me a good talking to with three simple words. Thanks ... Why'd'ju go and do that for, anyway? Were you bored? Am I sufficiently entertaining my Big Brother of Comedy yet? [Oxford Dictionary "entertain" = "cherish"] Oh... so that is your laughter from the control booth on the Ultra EHF bandwidth frequency. Oy... I really am being teased and falling for your joke, aren't I?)

Chapter Two, “Early Warning Signs of the Stand-Up Personality” got me thinking. Before my stepfather joined the family, laughter permeated the house—no matter what stressful event we were going through. But Mom has my great-grandmother’s German-Dutch humor. I thought of the routines my brother came up with and how I loved joining him. Adults couldn't keep from laughing.

Then I remembered this one… I played a practical joke in third grade—telling everyone I was born in Australia, but we came to the states after that. My classmates believed me… that was fun. Due to an advanced reading group in 2nd grade and moving to a new school—I spent more time in third grade clowning around than paying attention to the boring stuff I learned already. That was my turning point year—on how to deal with boring classrooms. (And I used to play jokes on substitute teachers.)

Now there’s a map on page 80 that needs updating. The US is divided into different areas by types of people. There's a state listed with the Hayseeds, and I beg to differ. I'd say my county is a mix of hayseeds and hicks, with a few rednecks further south.

Besides looking at all the hilarious pictures (Richard does a handsome rendition of 1950’s jazz-bop entertainer on page 56), let’s just say that I didn’t find the banal high-school humor about male anatomy on pages 130–140, (especially 130 & 139) very amusing. The photos and captions just made me want to run screaming out of the branch library and attack my husband. (Just kidding, Richard.)

I think I’ll just keep this worn out copy with the missing pages and refer to it from time to time.

Overall point of the book?? Be an original… like the Belz iz.

-------------------------

A/N -- (clears her throat) "A good relationship..." Hmmm... So would that be aimable, bien, bon, beinvellant, fiable, honorable or gentil?

How about lien de parenté, lien du sang, relation harmonieuse?

Qu’est ce que tu penses de ça? What do you think of that, I'm learning French... Turnabout's Fair Play... A good relationship.

---------------------

©2006 by Kat-Renée Kittel. All Rights Reserved. Please be kind and give credits to author and founder of the Laughter Safety Valve Commission™. Thanks.

Got Chutzpah (aka Agape Is A Five Letter Word... For Chutzpah) is inspired by The Chairman of The Laughter Safety Valve Commission™. See Turnabout's Fair Play and comment left by Mr. Anonymous. (Dear Richard, Thanks for the hug.)

***Cached pages are not authorized representations of this page nor do they represent the staff writer of this website. Previous page versions have been obliterated by the LSVC, Tech Publications Dept. The editorial staff of the LSVC are not responsible for Laughter Safety violations caused by any unauthorized use of outdated information.***

Chasing After Tumbleweeds...

REVISED - 27.02.06. Resubmitted.





...Or A Ranting Mommi Goez.

Stuck in Cowboy Country and nothing else to do around here, but watch the cattle promenade down main street…when I would rather be somewhere else and less hormonally frustrated right now…

What boring, TV-Zombie lives some Americans lead (now of course I don't mean you, kind reader) ...like those who left comments on the Belzer page at laugh.com—from one fanatic extreme to the other…I couldn’t get the site to let me leave any message.

So here is my message to the entire gamut of folks out there (mildly understated, of course…):

Y’all, would you just go get a life of your own—go make love to your husband or clean up whatever that was that dumped out of your head—and stop trying to borrow someone else’s life!! (He already has a wife... Helloooo.) Look he really isn’t going to see your comment wishing him happy birthday. If you want to wish someone Happy Birthday—mail him or her a card for crying out loud!! Like you couldn’t figure that out—you can at least write to Richard Belzer% Law & Order Studios??? Are you that scared of rejection—his birthday’s the same day as yours, so what’s your problem?? (You know, if you would just do a little research, you might find an address in France, even—that is if you really cared…) Hey, life’s too short to be a lemming, guys—put your brain back in and do something creatively original with what’s left of your days on Earth…please, before I knock a hole in the basement wall instead of knocking some sense in your head. (Ouch…now my hand hurts.)

Which brings me to my personal definitions of these words:

Fanatic: a whiner who leaves their brain at the door and follows a famous person around and around like a puppy dog and complains when the celebrity doesn’t have time to find it for them. (I actually had this happen to me... after winning first prize in the costume contest at an sf convention once—acted out my part like everyone else in front of judges and convention goers…and now I have a fan??? Look I like real puppies, but I have no earthly idea where you put your brain... honest. Perhaps the hotel staff can help. I have enough trouble keeping track of my keys.)

Admirer: Someone who intelligently recognizes the creative talent and professionalism of someone else, honoring him or her with the kindness and respect they deserve. (Look up Desiderata…even if they have a culturally demeaning job or are still an amateur…uhm…that’s French, isn’t it?) That kind of someone will keep fanatics away, even if it means missing the chance to talk to the one he or she admires.

Fond of/Fondness: To see someone as they are and accept them with Agape—just like a real brother or sister. (Teasing is allowed, but turnabout is fair play...)

Kind Regards to all and to all-- c'est la vie,

Reni =^..^=
P.S. -- that we should all strive toward the last two areas... caring for one another.

”…let us pledge allegiance to compassion, humanity and each other.” --Richard Belzer, July 4, 2005.

Without an allegiance to Providence and compassion, there is no pledge of allegiance to one’s country. “When America ceases to be good, she ceases to be great…” (Who said that… Oh yeah... Alec de Toqueville, a French guy. =^..^= )

-----------

 ©2006 by Kat-Renée Kittel. All Rights Reserved. Please be kind and give credits to author and founder of the Laughter Safety Valve Commission™. Thanks.

Got Chutzpah (aka Agape Is A Five Letter Word... For Chutzpah) is inspired by The Chairman of The Laughter Safety Valve Commission™. See Turnabout's Fair Play and comment left by Mr. Anonymous. (Dear Richard, Thanks for the hug.)

A Very Gentle Warning -- As the founder of the Laughter Safety Valve Commission™, I entirely respect professionals and honor those who have passed on. If my writing regarding these professionals is taken out of the tributary context as originally written and used in an exploitative manner of any kind--I forgive you....my cat not so forgiving... (Please... Your sensibility is truly appreciated.)

***Cached pages are not authorized representations of this page nor do they represent the staff writer of this website. Previous page versions have been obliterated by the LSVC, Tech Publications Dept. The editorial staff of the LSVC are not responsible for Laughter Safety violations caused by any unauthorized use of outdated information.***

Why I'm Fond of Richard Belzer.

REVISED: 26.02.06b A/N - No, I didn't ask The Chairman for permission to publically discuss something we privately spoke about in his office and post the heartbreaking essay I wrote to him for everyone to see. Yet if your big brother saved your life—would be awfully darn difficult not to tell everyone the whole story without thinking. Could be I'm just making a tzimmes (big deal) about this...but he just called me into his office and my Uncle, LSVC's Attorney is waiting there, too. I better pull half of this column out and put it back in the folder--leave those kinds of things in the privacy of my big brother's personal files...even the parts that were desperately funny-- our private joke. (And just to make sure... ) 

Dear Mr. Chairman, please forgive this apprentice staff writer for being so totally inconsiderate... (and for scaring the H. E. Double Toothpick out of everyone, especially the Chairman...)  

Now if anyone writes flaming, horrible comments (about Richard or Harlee)—like the ones up at laugh.com—I will hunt you down and tie you to the comfy chair. If you don't know what that is...go watch Monty Python's Holy Grail. And that's putting it mildly—what will happen...when The Chairman...ahem...Chief of The Comment Police gets a hold of you."  --Kind Regards, Reni.  

Why Am I Fond of Richard Belzer?  

Here are the multiple choices: 

1) His rendition of "Moses and The Cell Phone..."

2) His real personality bleeds out in his portrayal of Detective John Munch's (Law & Order: SVU) deeply sensitive compassion for others... (There's a saying that a real writer has to bleed on paper, how about a real actor?) 

2½) He was a guest on Sesame Street's Elmopalooza.  

3) Because his IQ is so high that he should be in Mensa, his viewpoint of the world is different than a lemming. (The IQ rating of "57" in his book—How to be a Stand-Up Comic—was to keep from overwhelming the average reader with too much information.)  

4) Beneath all that acerbic wit is a very sweet, compassionately sensitive guy, like my other brother...  

5) He's an ambassador from another planet...(why else would he wear black & prescription sunglasses, be thinly tall like a Vulcan/Romulan, live in France and write a book about conspiracies?? - just kidding, Richard...) 

Answer: Choice number 5—we visitors to this backward planet have to support each other. 

Although the correct answer is all of the above... Richard reminds me of my brother, who was always trying to get me to laugh and taught me to play straight man to his jokes. We used to have a blast as kids. He loved acting in theatre. (I miss him so very much.)  

My brother admired Belzer. Though lil' sisters tend to overlook certain word usage, since there are times... Yet then I'm mild-mannered and absent-minded, the kind of comedian who would run smack into her brother—the Master of Ceremonies—with her nose in a book. I am fond of the way Belzer says babe... But no, I don't emerge a super-hero from a telephone booth. A British Police box, possibly...they tend to be extra-dimensional. Just ask my friend The Doctor...Who? Never mind. What was I saying??? Getting to know my favorite guy has really helped fill in some of that awful empty ache of losing my brother. With everything Richard has gone through and the way he looks after Mishpocha (family), I know he'd be a great brother, too. Oh well, just a thought. Still big brothers to me are someone I fondly look up to and look forward to all the potential teasing. (since turnabout is fair play...) 

Anyway, I'm not even mad anymore that an October 30th picture of Richard with his signature smile (IMDb website) pulled me out of a well-deserved severe depression. So there. For the week before the holidays, that smile of his was the only thing keeping me sane and away from the cliff with the rest of the lemmings.  

So why did I need to have a private talk with the Chairman?? First of all though, I was really nervous about writing to him in the first place, due to this friend of mine. My friend's negative comment got me overly worried that sharing how I'm fond of The Belz and have been praying for him might seem like a ridiculous statement from an unreasonable fundamentalist bird, like my friend who tries to fly around and around with one right wing. But I can’t figure out how to fly lopsided, since I’m more the ambidextrous type. 

And I’m not very good with parties, either. Well, at least not the loud, noisy kinds that expect me to leave my brain at the door—they give me a headache. Like the Hanukkah party I went to last year. The congregation leader’s wife screeched over everyone’s loud talking. I couldn’t even think straight and wound up with a migraine.  

Yet it occurred to me—I might just be giving in to the awkward legacy of paranoia on my mother’s side stemming from at least two generations of hiding our Jewish identity out in the woodshed and only bringing up the subject as an argument. My great aunts used to argue about getting caught eating cabbage rolls and how my mother got “her looks.” I suspect the argument between my great aunts had to be whether to pass down the lineage or just forget the whole thing. I can just hear them saying, “We’re in the backwoods surrounded by Hillbillies. Nobody knows what German Dutch means. Let’s use that.” 

Maybe they were jealous of my mother, because they only had sons, but I don’t know what their problem was with cabbage rolls. There’s a Lebanese restaurant around the corner from my house that makes great cabbage rolls with hummus and the proprietors are nowhere near German Dutch. In fact, they’re Greek Orthodox.  

(Unlike my aunts' small town though, the city planners around here are nutz—from ruin-your-eyes, dizzy-bright, red & blue wall-to-wall carpeting in the entire public library to 32 foot, neon columns defending a prominent intersection like a circle of prairie wagons warding off the locals. Motorists tend to cause accidents while staring at the red, blue and lavender lights, looking for UFOs to land on top of New Stonehenge... ...while cattle promenade down mainstreet.)  

Then I found the actual transcript from an HBO Broadcast—March 11, 2005—posted on a Blog, and figured my friend doesn’t know how to hear between the lines…(well he did add that Belzer was a nice guy though.) 

Breitbart: But what—I'll say this: if you're willing to admit that you're wrong, I'm willing to admit that I'm wrong, and many of the people on my side are wrong because we thought that the Muslims did not have this in them. We had low expectations of what they expected of themselves… 

Belzer: Had what in them? To continue to repress women, to hate Jews, to hate white people, to hate Christians? To have a theocracy?  

Breitbart: Maybe that's - maybe that's not true. 

 Belzer: And a civil war? And thousands of our kids are slaughtered and mutilated for an idea—  

Breitbart: (overlapping) Actually - if - if- 

Belzer: (overlapping) Let me finish, babe. (laughter) For these people that beat themselves with chains and hate us and detest us, they've had a 7,000-year head start on us. They don't have democracy. Who are we to shove it down their throats? They don't want our democracy. They want us out of there. (voices overlap—applause)  

Breitbart: Maybe - maybe-

Belzer: So they can kill each other! (Yeah, okay. We should be so lucky.)  

--Back to why I was in The Boss's Office... "Reni... my office now!!! ...please." (Oh well....That's the Chairman...second call, and he's clutching my private personnel folder and some pages printed off the internet. I know better than to wait for him to call me a third time, especially if my uncle is here too. Better bring these classified documents with me and own up to messing with his computer and borrowing photos and stuff that wasn't mine. Guess you'll never know... Some things just oughta be left to conspiracy theorists.) ------------  

Author's Note: Thanks to Richard's contagious smile—I’m back among the living!! I was able to do my favorite routine before the holidays—"The Absent-Minded Customer Helps The Stressed-Out Cashier." In other words, I had this stressed-out young cashier in Wal-Mart rolling in laughter. She needed the break. (Well, I used to work in sales.) The reaction from the woman in line behind me was so priceless. She stifled a smile, covered her face and turned her back to me. Don't know if she was embarrassed for me or about me. Or maybe thought the whole thing was funny, but wanted to get home!!! Or thought I was just plain nuts... 

(Sorry, I don't have the recipe written down yet.)  

Oh, life's too short to be a lemming. -----

©2006 by Kat-Renée Kittel. All Rights Reserved. Please be kind and give credits to author and founder of the Laughter Safety Valve Commission™. Thanks. 

Got Chutzpah(or Agape is a Five Letter Word... for Chutzpah) is inspired by The Chairman of The Laughter Safety Valve Commission™. 

See Turnabout's Fair Play and comment left by Mr. Anonymous. (Dear Richard, Thanks for the hug.) ***Cached pages of this post are not authorized representations of this page nor do they represent the staff writer of this website. Previous page versions have been obliterated by the LSVC, Tech Publications Dept with the Chairman's signature approval. The editorial staff of the LSVC are not responsible for laughter safety violations caused by any unauthorized use of outdated information or use of cached pages of this site for any reason in any format.**** REVISED 20.01.07c. ***************

(Thanks for listening... )