Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Keeping Sane...

Top twenty ways to stay sane among the Lemmings....

20. As often as possible, sit down in the check out line.
19. Every time someone asks you to do something say, "Is plastic okay?"
Replace decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
17. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
16. Every three days, tell your friends you can't attend their funeral because you're not in the mood.
15. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN.”
14. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go.”

12. Order a Diet Water with a serious face.
11. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
10. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds.”

9. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy.”
8. Don't use any punctuation.
7. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
6. Sing along at the opera.
5. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rocky Bottom.
4. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
3. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
2. When the money comes out of the ATM scream, "I won! I won!"

And the Number One Way to keep a healthy level of insanity—

Post this list and make someone laugh.

It’s called therapy.


  1. blahdee blah blahdee blah blah...

  2. so itz not a nu list...

    eetz steel funni.

    ce n'est pas une nouvelle liste mais il est encore drôle

  3. oh my, oh my...i can feel my pain leaving my body..DO IT AGAIN! DO IT AGAIN!


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